i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
