I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
