I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
