i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize