dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer