I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
