That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic