we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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