I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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