Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Houston, we have a squirter
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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