Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
