Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
