She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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