I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
