is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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