I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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