just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
