I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country