Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called. http://tfl.nu/7ag1
  Replies (9) Good night (888) Bad night (2464)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile http://tfl.nu/cr7n
  Replies (27) Good night (1098) Bad night (2585)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4329) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (629) Bad night (6272)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by. http://tfl.nu/jzor
  Replies (49) Good night (1064) Bad night (4842)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd
  Replies (75) Good night (5330) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/lss6
  Replies (26) Good night (6081) Bad night (3649)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple." http://tfl.nu/0gie
  Replies (4) Good night (5231) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground http://tfl.nu/1ixq
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (1814)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS http://tfl.nu/0ql8
  Replies (3) Good night (1148) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make http://tfl.nu/3d29
  Replies (5) Good night (2062) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid. http://tfl.nu/33wc
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more. http://tfl.nu/8b5s
  Replies (8) Good night (1030) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET. http://tfl.nu/1g2i
  Replies (9) Good night (844) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (143)

Randomize