Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize