I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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