Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.

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  (678): Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry. http://tfl.nu/8kmb
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (1296)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (958) Bad night (4600)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover

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  (204): I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover http://tfl.nu/k1fy
  Replies (8) Good night (1489) Bad night (4199)
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  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

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  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3862) Bad night (9195)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?

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  (570): I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days? http://tfl.nu/o3ms
  Replies (4) Good night (2971) Bad night (1053)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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  (+44): He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week http://tfl.nu/00sr
  Replies (13) Good night (1345) Bad night (3917)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol

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  (320): I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol http://tfl.nu/5ctw
  Replies (13) Good night (2479) Bad night (840)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...

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  (603): Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing... http://tfl.nu/j7d9
  Replies (6) Good night (2611) Bad night (622)
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  (818): View more from California

  Hahah what did you even say to him?!

  (805): View more from California

  That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?

  (818): View more from California

  Oh.

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  (818): Hahah what did you even say to him?! (805): That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower? (818): Oh. http://tfl.nu/lvu0
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (543)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed

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  (570): FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed http://tfl.nu/e8xr
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (480)
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  (716): View more from New York

  If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.

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  (716): If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship. http://tfl.nu/4ap0
  Replies (5) Good night (909) Bad night (330)
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  (909): View more from California

  While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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  (909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (382)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow

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  (720): This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow http://tfl.nu/n4ws
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (350)
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  (408): View more from California

  I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.

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  (408): I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment. http://tfl.nu/3pv3
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (363)
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  (858): View more from California

  she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"

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  (858): she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec" http://tfl.nu/979e
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (405)

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