cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There's always time for handjobs
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off