i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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