They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
