I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
