we made out on top of his cat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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