I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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