Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
