I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
