I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
