Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
