Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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