hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
