I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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