do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
