Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
