so explain again why im purple
no
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
