Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
two words: eviction party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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