We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
