he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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