What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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