You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
