I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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