he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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