i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
