He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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