she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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