I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
