Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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