Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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