my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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