oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
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I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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