Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
