I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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