Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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