So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You pole danced in your parka.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
