You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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