HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
