he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
