I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
birth control should be required to get into college
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
