He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
