Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
