Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
