Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
