You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
