All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
