Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
