It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize