when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
