Duck Duck Cougar?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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