Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I am naked and annoyed.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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