We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
