its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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