Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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